Mental Aiming

I am not a widow, nor do I understand the pain that accompanies losing your partner in life.  But I have heard some interesting, and heartbreaking, things that go along with coping with it.  One of the greatest feelings that has been identified among the mourning is that they feel guilty being happy; as if they are doing some injustice to their spouse for trying to be content without them around.  I can understand in partiality (as well as anyone with half a picture), but in reality, the only thing that I can do is try to relate it to my own life regardless of how pathetic that comparison is.

One of the greatest things I am learning when trying to focus on my self-esteem is that there are minimizers of my self-esteem.  A perfect example of this is a mentality that I have carried with me all these years.  I have a strong desire to please others.  As I have mentioned before, this is a complete waste of time, because the only person that can control their opinions is themselves.  Let them handle them.  Regardless, I have discovered that my people-pleasing ways have some more ramifications on my self-esteem.  Just as someone mourning, I don't grant myself permission for progress.  I have never given myself permission to work on my self-esteem for fear that people would view me as pompous.  

There are so many reasons why this mentality is ridiculous, but yet I still allowed it to be used as a valid excuse to control my progress.  I need to be so careful to watch out for unreasonable mentalities or my base on reality will be completely skewed.  Not to mention, that I won't be progressing to my potential.  

There are so many mentalities that I am allowing to control me, that without intentional focus, will continue to skew me further from reality.  If I intend to move forward, I need to aim and jump, reaim and jump.  Every leap needs to be set up, or I will be moving the wrong way and quickly.  Focus is so essential.  So here it is, me striving... intentionally and directionally aligned.      

"Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we aremembers of one another." Ephesians 4:25