Where I am

"You must have some kind of criteria for knowing if 

the desire you have matches the ability you possess."

-John C. Maxwell

I realized that I have spent a lot of time trying to appeal to others in my blog and not being as focused on my own personal journey.  In thinking about it, I realized that the point of my blog is to motivate others based on my story, not based on my words.  With this in mind, I want to streamline my focus back to its origin.

I have been reading several books lately emphasizing personal awareness and growth (Your Personality Tree and The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth).  Both of which I would recommend to anyone else looking to seriously make over their understanding of themselves.

The quote above I got from the 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth.  I think I spend a lot of time doing one of two things.  The first of which is underestimating myself.  I recently was told a quote which said that an entrepreneur is someone that jumps off of a cliff and builds the bridge on the way down (To which my analytical husband heard and altered bridge to parachute, because bridges need the support of a solid point... Uhbub..).  Regardless, the point remains the same.  My focus needs to stretch in order to achieve the greatness I was intended for.  I will build my capability along the way, but I need to step out in faith and know that my growth will happen.  Which brings me to my second fatal flaw, becoming excited and having my excitement outweigh reality.  I cannot tell you how many times I get really excited about something, for instance, fitness.  I wanted so badly to get my body back after pregnancy that I decided, around the first trimester, that I would run a half marathon for the first time 3 months after having my son.  You want to know what happened?  I had a 8lb 12oz bouncing baby boy and I was still recovering by the time the third month rolled around.  Accurate understanding of my ability?  Not at all.  This lack of understanding causes major problems because I am either achieving the bare minimum or being disappointed by my lack of achieving my lofty goals.  Not much room for growth in esteem there. 

This is because I don't have an accurate criteria for measuring my goals vs. my ability.  In all honesty, I don't know the answer.  But the way I am going to proceed is to put myself around a community of people that are confident in their abilities and have achieved the things that I want to.  We often get so caught up in paving our own path that we miss the tracks right next to us.  So my goal right now is to embrace the good leadership surrounding me and know that my dreams are valid, it is the time frame that may be foggy.  

"Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled." -Titus 2:3-5