A few months ago, Marcus and I started a business. It has been an amazing thing, but it is very performance driven. The harder you work, the more you will produce. When we first started, I became really intense. We weren't producing the kind of success we originally wanted and this was disappointing to me. It was this disappointment that led me to encourage Marcus to work harder. It took me several days to realize that I had been looking at this all wrong. He is our leader, but that doesn't mean that it is his job to do all the work. But looking back, I had an epiphany as to my motivation.
I have 100% faith in my husband's capability. He is one of the wisest, truest, most capable people that I know. There is no doubt that he is going to be successful in whatever he sets his mind to. It was this understanding that pushed me to tell him to work harder. I didn't believe I could achieve greatness in my own ability, so I had to rely on his. This is unfair not only to my husband, but to me. God designed me with my own set of gifts, skills, and dreams for a reason. If I am always in my husband's glorious 6'4 shadow, I am doing an injustice to God who is waiting for my cooperation to do great things with me.
Somewhere along the way women got stuck in their partner role and thought there was no more to their existence than that. Don't get me wrong, being a partner and a spouse is an amazing thing, but that is not all you were made for. God's plan has always been simple. You were created to form your relationship with Christ first and then, as a strong and confident individual, unite with another strong and confident individual. On this footing, who can stand in your way? In our society, more often then not, women seek a partner before seeking out and discovering themselves.
Picture one person who worked hard to establish themselves. They formed their ideal self, and grew in confidence and stature. This individual, let's call him Ralph, falls in love with a beautiful blonde goddess. 5'7, legs that won't quit, and a smile to shadow any other girl in her wake. We'll call her Linda. Sadly, Linda has been obsessing about love, pursues love and has been waiting for this love to complete her. No matter how great Linda's smile is, she will destroy Ralph and his full potential because he will spend his days trying to complete and support her. Being the stand up guy that he is, his heart will be forever hers, but he won't have any extra support to feed into the world because he will be spending it all on her. Picture the same scenario with two confident, well established people. These people, Bill and Sue, will spend their days focused on the world around them and both meeting their heart's potential. This is the design. This is the plan. Do you see the potential?
We have a responsibility to reach out for something more. It is absolutely essential that we develop ourselves into all we need to be. If you don't see the point for you, see the detriment you can have on your spouse. It breaks my heart when I see capable people waiting for love to complete them. A partner is only a segment of your potential. If you settle all of your potential on that, you will be wasting not only your own, but all of your love's as well. Desire more, if not for you, for your partner, future or present. Love, in all its strength is a beautiful thing. I choose to have a strong one.
"For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another..." -Romans 12:4
Well, said.
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