Growth. But not just any growth, self-esteem growth. This type of growth has been something that my husband has been requesting of me since we met, not because it is unusually necessary, but because he believes I don't deserve the negativity that I dole out to myself daily. I agree that my lack of self-confidence is an area of weakness for me, but it is society's fault, right? Or the direct result of my upbringing? Or how about all of those public school bullies.. they can be blamed too, right?
Pathetic excuses. Those things may be the cause, but I am the one that has allowed those mentalities to stay. My husband and I have known each other since 2008. For all you who hate math that was a whopping 6 years ago. 6 years he has been asking me to look at myself positively. Why has it taken me so long? Because I was comfortable. I was comfortable believing that I am just a victim of my circumstance and there was nothing I could do about it. But that's not true. It's a lie. And like most lies, it sits right beside your ear whispering that this moment in time is the best you will ever be. There is no need to try harder, dig deeper, or strive for more. The circumstances have spoken, and me, the product, will forever remain theirs.
But today I committed. I committed to wanting more. I committed to striving for one year, 365 days, that I will not settle for mediocre. The lies won't hold me down and that the truth will come to light. For an entire year I will be writing biblical truths on this blog daily and revealing lies that these truths reveal. It will be a discovery of the person that God intended me to be and shedding what I currently am. Not a Christian? Consider my discoveries merely truths to grow you, because whether you are Christian or not, you don't deserve to hate yourself.
Ok, this is rather personal; why am I doing this in blog form? Because I know that I am not alone. I know that men and women all over the world are settling for the ceiling of their circumstances. I know that all over the world people are blaming society, their parents, their friends, their abuse, and so much more for their lack of self esteem. And while those are good instigators, they are not good determiners of your future.
I waited 6 years to change.. to grow. I can't wait anymore. I have a beautiful baby boy who is counting on me to teach him how special he is. He will get brought down and broken in this life. Everyone does and is. But I want to be a reason for him to believe in himself. And I don't want my belief in him to be diluted by my disdain for myself. Lies can dilute the truth and parents are huge teachers of lies. I have a responsibility I can't neglect any longer. Whether you have kids or not, this is your time. You are being influential to someone. Don't be a bad one. Buckle down with me and face reality. You are beautiful. You are awesome. It's time to learn and love who you are.
See you for the next 365 days.
Brittany
Yay! What a wonderful goal and aspiration. It is my hope that I too will improve my self image as I journey with you through this next year.
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