Monday, December 1, 2014

The Hidden Heart

"Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I built my life." 
-J.K. Rowling

I was talking to a couple close friends the other day about addictions.  One casually mentioned that our generation has brought drinking to an all time high.  Not only this, but "casual drinking" is now the term used for excessive binge drinking.  The conversation continued as my two counterparts compared how they were never addicted to drinking itself, but the party life.  They would claim time and time again that their drinking was done, but the weekend would come again and with it, the party life.  This shocked me as I listened to the struggle that was normalized.  The struggle that was glamorized.  After this discussion, I started thinking about our social norms and it brought up some interesting realizations about our heart.

All of a sudden, it clicked in my brain.  Who are you in your teenage years?  Uncomfortable, unsure, insecure.  It is not a secret that insecurity is not attractive.  Insecurity in and of itself breeds a whole slew of bad characteristics including: untrusting behavior, neediness, clinginess, and so so many more.  So what do teenagers do?  They hide.  Behind the most convenient confidence booster there is, alcohol and drugs.  It is there the voids of the heart are filled, and the insecurities fade away.  Stupidity is hilarious as well as spontaneity and danger.  And the saddest part about it all is so many people refuse to grow up.  They stay in the safety of their first and greatest escape.  You see there is very clear pattern to addiction.  A wounded heart (or a gaping hole, don't condemn, we all have one deep within our heart) + a need to get relief + a known reliever (drinking, drugs, etc.) = a need to go back, to continue.  

You see, our culture is founded on impulses.  Filling voids is an American past time.  But this goes beyond filling voids, because as I write about this epidemic, I get nervous about the retaliation this blog post may have.  When I started this blog, my focus was improving self-esteem.  In my mind, that consisted of making the world aware of its goodness.  But the more I dig into this subject, the more I discover that self-esteem isn't an additive, it's a result.  A result of believing in yourself and fighting for more, whether that be in the mind, heart, or in the behaviors.  So despite the ramifications of discussing the danger of numbing your hurts with drugs and alcohol, I am going to do it anyways.

"Drinking and drugs are bad" isn't my point, however.  That is already very clear, despite some denial to this fact.  My point of today is show that we may need to go against the grain of society a bit in order to understand the beauty of our heart.  You see, beauty needs to be defined by you, not by society.  And sadly, society is telling us that if you don't indulge in harmful behavior you are a goodie-two-shoes.  But that isn't all.  Our culture also reinforces that our temporary is what we live for.  Ever heard "YOLO"?  It stands for "You Only Live Once."  The funny thing is, they are right.  But the sad part is, this mentality reinforces that life is all about feel-goods and not about the tough decisions.   

You see, we all have a desire to make a difference in this world.  To stand out, and to make our mark.  With some, this desire may be masked, but it was there at one point.  And the more we develop our self-esteem, the more we recognize that this "mark" is achievable if we just see ourselves differently than the waves that come against us.  99% of people will never achieve the greatness they were designed for.  Does that bother anyone else?  Settling for average should not be a societal norm.  I guess the positive of the world not meeting their potential, is that it shouldn't be that hard to stand out.  But don't take that statement as me claiming it will be easy.  You see, when you stick your head above the crowd, you are likely to catch some tomatoes.  But take them in stride and know that you are working for something far greater.  You are working for your potential.
Day 15-"Do not be conformed to this world..." -Romans 12:2

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