When I was in my teenage years, I fought myself constantly about the way that I looked. I knew that my impression of my size was not correct. I knew that my lack of contentedness was ridiculous and possibly even harmful, but I was afraid of being content. Because content people stop striving. When you are content you no longer dream of better. I was talking to my husband about this fear a couple years ago. He ended up telling me a story of a time when he was fresh out of high school. At the time he spent a fair amount of time in the gym. He said the day that he looked in the mirror and liked the way that he looked was the day he stopped trying. And that was and is exactly what I am afraid of. You see, I have always been innately afraid of the situations out of control. This is a human trait. When studying Psychology, it was obvious the most stressful situations in life were the ones where the individual lacks control.
When perfectionism is in my life, it keeps me striving forward. But the funny thing is that often times the greatest thing that our heart desires is waiting right around the corner until we give up control. Let me use my body image troubles again as an example. In high school I was very insecure. This insecurity caused me to overeat at times because I just wanted to impulsively give myself something when I was stressed. Naturally I turned to food, because that was a deprivation of mine. When I went to college, I spent less time obsessing about it and got busy with other things. During this time, a friend of mine got me into running and I lost 15 pounds. I now have a much stronger body image but it took me letting go of my crazy obsession to get me to a place that I could improve.
So how do you get rid of obsessions? Or crazy perfectionistic mentalities? Well, you can start by getting around positive people. I can't tell you how much positive association has rocked my world. In high school I was surrounded by insecure people struggling with their own insecure body issues. They couldn't help me get over my body issues because that is a feat they hadn't conquered in their own lives. You need to surround yourself with people that you wouldn't mind being more like.
But let me tell you one thing for sure. Obsessions don't go away by trying harder. That is like trying to get rid of wrinkles by squinting. You aren't going to get over a mess by using the same techniques it took to get you into it. You need to relax, take a break, and stop taking life so seriously. Because it is beautiful if you just choose to take the thorn out of your foot rather than complaining about it. We are capable to overcome the messes in our way. But some of the greatest messes are fixed by taking a breath and being content, even if that is scary.
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