It has been this realization that has granted me a little grace in the perimeters of irrational thoughts. These days (or forever, I am not sure), we are told that certain behaviors are lovely and others are unappealing. We try with all our might to fit into this "appealing" category, whether we do it intentionally or not. Perfect example: Men crying. I am sure you are aware, most men will never cry in front of others because it makes them look weak. Crying is often considered an unappealing trait in men, so many restrict this behavior in their day-to-day life. The unfortunate piece of this is that many men are able to maintain this facade because they are emotionally shut down. The reality is men do experience emotion. Whether or not they exhibit it is determined by the man, but being human they do have human emotions.
What about women? A perfect example? Neediness. Unlike men, not as many women are emotionally shut down, because we were told it is ok for us to have emotions. Because of this, neediness becomes very evident very quickly. This is veryyyy unappealing. Women exhibit this when they are not feeling significant or important in someone's life. We desire affirmation that we are loved.
The reality is we were wired in many ways to reflect God. The bible clearly states that God is strong and mighty; a warrior, fierce and bold. Men desire this boldness. Have you ever seen The Secret Life of Walter Mitty? In this movie, Mitty goes about life dreaming fantasy after fantasy. My husband informed me that this is hugely common among men. This isn't embarrassing. This is the heart of a man: to battle.
Same goes for women. God is a jealous God who desires to be pursued and longed for. This is a piece of His heart that we, as women exhibit. We need to stop shunning this side of ourselves. Now ladies, this does NOT mean we can go all out crazy on our men. This means we can use this knowledge to understand that we are prone to insecurity of the love of others. Knowing this, we can strive to develop an accurate picture of reality, rather than clinging to the idea that they aren't doing enough to show their love. In Love and Respect, Eggerichs states that Men are most often willing to die for their love, yet women will still question their man's love just the same.
My point of this post is not marital happiness. My point is that Christ has created very specific designs for our hearts and we need to accept who we are. What God created was good and worthy of not being ashamed of. The more we grow into ourself, the more we will radiate the goodness deep within. Because it is there. It just needs to be discovered.
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